im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
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