Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
