so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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