I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
