I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
