We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
