So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Terrible idea I love it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize