If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
