Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize