...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
