i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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