they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize