I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
