i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize