I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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