I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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