wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
