but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
