Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
