I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
