Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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