I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
