It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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