he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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