He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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