every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
