it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
