She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
