Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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