Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
