You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
