just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
