She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
