This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
