I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
