When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
