69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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