I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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