Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
