so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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