i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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