i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
