Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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