Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
