i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
