Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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