dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize