I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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