Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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