But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
