I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize