she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
