I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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