dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
