No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
