like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
two words...techno handjob
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
