i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
