the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
