summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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