Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
