Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
