i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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