You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
