Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
