we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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