At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need to sanitize my soul.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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