I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
