Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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