Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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